Lamb's Cross

  • On Hesitance
    On Hesitance

    My brother was a nosy little bastard growing up. I never had a diary that he didn’t read, a laptop he didn’t break into or a notebook he didn’t steal and relentlessly mock.

    I’d hide my writing on a USB key tucked away in my school bag, but he’d sneak into my room and steal it, later smugly quoting lines from my stories. He’d say how embarrassing and bad they were. How he couldn’t believe I’d written those things. The boy was a bloodhound and perpetually on the hunt for new ways to make fun of me.

    True, some of my writing was Twilight fanfic, but my self insert character didn’t get to date Edward or Jacob. She was barely their friend, even in my wildest fantasies. (Let’s not read into that too much, though) The content was silly and childish and certainly nothing to be ashamed of, but I poured my heart and soul into it nonetheless, and the only feedback I ever received was my brother’s mockery.

    I don’t know what the fuck his problem was. I’ve asked him about it in the years since and he has no real answer, just that he didn’t hate my writing or know why he was so obsessed with tormenting me about it. He’s one of my best friends and grew up into a fantastic man, but Christ almighty he put me through hell getting there. I hate to blame my extreme aversion to people reading my writing on him, but he certainly didn’t help the matter.

    The long and short of it is that writing has been my life for so long and some day I would like to publish something. I know in order to do this people will have to read the words I put down on paper. A horrifying concept, but a doable one.

    I’ll try to post semi regularly. If no one reads a single word of it, fair enough. Maybe my writing is terrible and my ideas cliche! Not the end of the world. The ball will at least be rolling. Maybe someone will read something I have written and I will get real feedback for the first time in my life!

    That’s about it for me. Not sure where this personal stuff came from, but it is very late and I am sitting alone in the kitchen of the house I grew up in, home in Ireland for the first time in a long time and under tragic circumstance. If I wasn’t so tired I could probably figure out where these feelings are coming from, but for now I think I’ll just go to bed.

    ,
  • The Sims 1 Makin’ Magic Duel Guide (Get those Magic Coins)

    If, like me, you’ve never really stopped playing the Sims 1, the Sims muscle memory never fades, but sometimes the specifics slip away. For me, it is the Magic Town duels, done in the pursuit of Magic Coins, arising when I inevitably decide to buy one of the Magic Town houses, thinking this time I will love it! All those other times over the last 20 years when I grinded for magic coins and then instantly regretted the move were flukes. I am older and bolder and need those sweet, sweet coins to make my big move.

    Back in the year of our lord 2003, I had post-it notes with hand drawn symbols and moves written for the duels, lovingly documented and meticulously detailed, a herculean task for a ten year old kid. It’s been nearly 23 years since then, and my notes are finally getting the digital upgrade they so desperately deserve.

    The basics are this:

    There are 5 possible spells, and you will be given 4 at random, as will your opponent.

    The game lasts 4 rounds, and you will need to figure out the correct combination of spells to win. Sounds simple? Yeah, I suppose it is.

    You can easily get 3 out of 4 and win the duel just by looking at the table below and disregarding the orbs altogether. Taking a second to note the spell line up, you can get those extra 10 magic Coins, but it is by no means vitally important.

    Spell Orb: Symbol: Beats: Beaten by:
    Black Blizzard Yellow Brimstone

    White Lightning

    		 Red Wave

    Blue Tornado
    Blue Tornado Black Blizzard

    Yellow Brimstone

    		 White Lightning

    Red Wave
    Red Wave Black Blizzard

    Blue Tornado

    		 Yellow Brimstone

    White Lightning
    White Lightning Red Wave

    Blue Tornado

    		 Yellow Brimstone

    Black Blizzard
    Yellow Brimstone White Lightning

    Red Wave

    		 Blue Tornado

    Black Blizzard

    Here’s an example, from my own recent quest to buy a spooky Magic Town mansion.

    Look at the orbs to the side of the Sims. We don’t have Yellow Brimstone, she doesn’t have Black Blizzard.

    Our missing spell:

    Yellow Brimstone is beaten by Blue Tornado and Black Blizzard

    Yellow Brimstone beats White Lightning and Red Wave

    Since the opponent does not have Black Blizzard, we will need to save Blue Tornado for when she plays Yellow Brimstone.

    Opponent’s missing spell:

    Black Blizzard is beaten by Red Wave and Blue Tornado

    Black Blizzard beats Yellow Brimstone and White Lightning

    ROUND 1:

    She has started with Yellow Brimstone, so we can use our Blue Tornado straight away. We know this as Yellow Brimstone is beaten by Blue Tornado and Black Blizzard (which we do not have)

    ROUND 2:

    Next, she plays White Lightning .

    White Lightning is beaten by Yellow Brimstone and Black Blizzard

    Since we don’t have Yellow Brimstone, we will go Black Blizzard.

    ROUND 3:

    Next, she plays Blue Tornado.

    Blue Tornado is beaten by White Lightning and Red Wave. Those are our 2 remaining options, and looking at her remaining orb her last move must be Red Wave, which is beaten by White Lightning.

    We choose Red Wave for now.

    ROUND 4:

    Her last move is Red Wave, and so we can finish her off with White Lightning.

    Voila! Get those delicious 36 magic coins. You’ll be regretting your move to the creepy Magic Town mansion in no time !

    ,
  • A Book from Every Country
    A Book from Every Country

    This year instead of my typical reading challenge (around 100 books) I’m trying to branch out and read a book from every country in the world. I know I likely won’t even get through half of that list, but it’s been a great exercise in branching out and finding new authors and fresh stories.

    My personal favourite genres are horror and fantasy so that’s where I have been looking, but I have found that some of the books I want to read are very difficult to get a hold of, in particular a few books from Kazakhstan that sounded amazing are nearly impossible to even find mentioned online.

    In any case I’m starting with the ones more accessible to me – I have already read a few which I’ll try do proper reviews for when I find the time. My local library is actually great for the foreign books – the three I have read so far this year have all been e-books from Libby.

    I’ll do a post about the book I finished this week – Where the Dead Brides Gather by Nuzo Onoh. I have to say my first taste of Nigerian horror was not a disappointment.

    Anyways I should probably get back to work and stop thinking about books 😀

  • This feels a bit like screaming into the void

    I don’t think anyone will read this, but I still feel a weird nervousness? Like I have to impress someone, or show that I’m a cool and interesting person. I am, but don’t worry about that right now.

    I figured this is a good place to finally gather my writing and book stuff into one place. Maybe put a thought or two to text if I am feeling funky. I stopped using most social media a few years back (save for Tumblr but I feel after last week’s disastrous update it’s only a matter of time before it joins the ranks of the unusables) and I really do miss doing my little book posts and reviews. I just cut socials out one by one feeling more and more “old man yells at cloud” each time. Reviews that were covert ads, short form videos every fucking where, these things were all terrible, sure- but the nail in the coffin for every app I deleted was seeing posts from people I don’t follow. Why on earth would I want to see recommended posts? I didn’t ask for that. I use the internet for a specific reason and it just turned to algorithmically generated goop so gradually that when I finally had enough I had forgotten that there used to be a point to all this.

    I also really don’t like being shown videos that I haven’t been sent on purpose or sought out on my own. I’m glad some people get joy yapping / being yapped to in bite sized chunks but it isn’t for me. Bring back the written word as the primary format online, please god. Strange and lengthy chunks of text has always been the native tongue of weird ladies in their 30s.

    Back when I was a teenager in 2009 I had a WordPress blog that I posted on constantly. This was back in the day when bloggers ruled the world- I lived in Sweden and remember checking Kissie or Blondinbella’s blogs with my friends every day in the school library. Even us, the emo kids, would look at their latest party pics and be inspired to update our pages with whatever Tim Burton nonsense was going through our Crazy Coloured little heads. Oh, the joy at refreshing a friend’s blog and a new post popping up timestamped just now. Or did you ever find the blog of someone you had a crush on! Seeing a comment on a blog of a mutual of a mutual who you were stalking and stumbling into their personal world was like finding the holy grail. I liked a trenchcoat commie with whiteboy dreads and I thought his page was the deepest, most profound writing I had ever seen. Anyways. I don’t know where I am going with all of this. I suppose I just miss it? It felt real.

    Oops got a bit Dr Complainathon there, I really don’t mean to come at all this from a negative place. I’m excited to find like minded people and spaces, and try to give my time online a point again. I want to refresh a blog and get excited to see a new post, and not because I was notified in real time.

    That feels like enough of an intro for now. I’ll sign off as Lamb – it’s a family name, but soft and blurry enough to that it doesn’t feel like i am just pretending to be someone new.

    Do chara,

    Lamb